The Story of Four

or

Jenna Saves the Elves

Once upon a time, the day Jenna turned four,

She was home by herself and heard four knocks on the door.

RAP!  She heard.  RAP! RAP!  And another RAP! too.

And Jenna sat wondering what she should do.

‘Cause Jenna’s parents said, “Jenna, when we go out,

Never answer the door, but pretend you’re a trout.

And go find a hiding place, hide yourself well,

And wait ‘til we get back – or we’ll give you hell.”

But Jenna was brave and Jenna was bold.

Jenna never did anything that she was told.

So without a thought and without a care

Jenna opened the door to see who was there.

And to her surprise, bending down on one knee,

Were two little Elves.  Jenna said, “Who might you be?”

“Oh please!” said the girl Elf with curly red hair,

“We’re looking for Jenna – might this be her lair?”

“I’m Jenna,” said Jenna, and the boy Elf said, “Yay!

We’ve been looking for you, we’ve been searching all day!”

The girl Elf said, “Jenna, will you come and help us?

We’ll explain once we get on our magic Elf Bus.”

Jenna thought hard, then said, “I’d go with you but-

Most Elves tell their names.  Are you weird Elves or what?”

“No!” they cried back.  “We’re not weird, but you’re right.

Not giving our names isn’t very polite.”

“I’m Kathy,” said the girl Elf, curtsying low.

The other said, “Mark!” bowing down to his toe.

Adding, “Please pardon our manners and don’t think us rude.

It’s just that depression puts you in a bad mood.

The Elf Castle where we live up on the hill

Has been captured by monsters.  It just makes me ill!”

“Monsters!” yelled Jenna, “What a horrid report!

But how can I help?  I’m just four, and I’m short.”

“Get on the bus, we’ll explain on the way.”

Kathy pulled Jenna’s arm, she couldn’t help but obey.

The bus was stupendous, astounding, a treat.

It glimmered and shimmered.  Jenna said, “Oh how neat!”

The bus, along with the usual four tires

Had four doors, four windows, and on top, four spires.

And painted on each side in letters of gold

Was a big number 4 – what a sight to behold.

So Jenna climbed on and Kathy gave her a drink.

“This is magic Elf Juice.  It will help you to think.

You’ll need it,” she said, “because these monsters have brains.

They will ask you some questions that will give your head pains.

But that’s how you fight them, there’s no other way.

They think they’re so clever and they won’t go away.”

“Is it riddles they ask?” said Jenna who held

Out her cup for more Elf Juice.  “I hate riddles!” she yelled.

Pouring Juice Mark said, “Riddles?  Oh no they just ask

Whatever they feel like.  It’s a horrible task.

You’ve got to be clever.  You’ve got to have wit.

If you give them great answers, they’ll leave in a snit.

But watch out if they think that your answers are dumb,

They’ll laugh at you hard - you’ll go home feeling glum.

And the hundreds of Elves trapped up in the castle

Will be there for years!  It’s really a hassle.”

Kathy said, “We’ve got jobs!  There’s magic to do!

Being locked up with monsters can make an Elf blue.”

“Don’t worry,” said Jenna, “I’ll help you, I swear!

I’ll wash those mean monsters right out of your hair!”

“Terrific,” said Kathy, “I feel better already!

But go easy on the Elf Juice, it’ll make you unsteady.”

“No!  No!” cried Jenna, “More Elf Juice all ‘round!

I feel like my feet aren’t touching the ground!”

“Oh brother,” groaned Mark.  “I hope we’re not sunk.

Four cups of Elf Juice and Jenna is drunk.”

“I’m dandy!” roared Jenna.  “I’m swell!  I’m just grand!

I’ll fight off those monsters with a wave of my hand!

I’ll squash them, I’ll crush them, I’ll answer their query.

They’ll leave all humiliated, worn out, and weary.

I’ll evict them, I’ll shame them, they’ll be homeless and poor.

I know this.  I’m Jenna.  I’m mighty.  I’m four!”

The Elf Bus rolled on towards the beleaguered Elf Dwelling

With Jenna slurping Elf Juice and dancing and yelling,

“I’m the queen of all answers!  No monster can cope

With me when I’m hot.  Those fools have no hope!”

The bus finally rolled up the long Elf Driveway,

And Jenna jumped out shouting, “Monsters!  Today

You are doomed!  You are done for!  You know that it’s true.

I’m the greatest!  A hurricane!  I’m Jenna Danyew!”

The door of the castle opened up with a bang.

Out lumbered four monsters, a whole monster gang.

There was Finktoe, the leader, a gristly old coot;

And Grusty and Smurtle – they smelled like a poot;

And Doglick, the littlest, who gave Jenna the eye,

And looked her all over saying, “Oh my.  Oh my.

“Good grief!” he continued, “These Elves should be thanked.

They’ve brought us a human.  She’s loud, but she’s tanked.”

“Too true,” said Grusty, “it hardly seems fair.

She’s so short.  Not to mention, her bottom is bare.”

“What?” exclaimed Jenna, quickly checking her rear.

“Oh, you monsters are jokers!  That much is clear.

You won’t get me again, though, I promise you that.

So go on, ask questions, I’ll soon knock you flat.

A question from each of you!  Four questions will do.

After which I shall make me a nice monster stew.”

“The pipsqueak!” yelled Smurtle.  “How dare she declare

The terms of our match!”  Finktoe said, “Jenna, beware!

If you lose we won’t send you back home all depressed.

We’ll keep you here as our permanent guest.

So leave if you care for your life back at home.

If you lose now you’re ours, never to roam.

“Eat my shorts!” shot back Jenna.  “I do not have fears

Of fat guys with hair growing out of their ears!”

“An insult!” growled Finktoe.  “Now what makes you think

You can beat professional monsters?”  Jenna said, “The Elf Drink!

Let me see you guzzle as much as I’ve had

And then tell me if you feel great or feel bad.”

So Kathy and Mark brought them bottles of Juice

And the monsters and Jenna called a quick little truce.

Each monster drank four cups, Jenna counted them all,

And then said, “Hey Finktoe, you’re looking quite small.”

The words Jenna had spoken were never more true.

Finktoe had shrunk to the size of a shoe.

Grusty and Smurtle were both ankle-high,

And Doglick, well he was the size of a fly.

Jenna picked them all up and then tossed them in

To the Elf Bus’s little recycling bin.

She sealed it with duct tape and wrote out by hand:

To be sent off Express Mail to Far Monster Land.

The Elves all came out from the castle and said,

“Jenna!  Our hero!  What put the thought in your head?”

Jenna said, “Bottles have labels which I like to read.

They contain information which you someday might need.

In this case the label’s fine print told me all:

WARNING: Four cups of Juice will make monsters grow small.”

“Hooray!” yelled the Elves, “She was not nearly so lame

As to try to fight monsters at their own stupid game!”

Then they took her inside, and though it was late,

“It is high time,” they said, “that we celebrate!”

They made her an Elf Cake and some yummy Elf Punch,

And Jenna stayed with them ‘til the next day at Elf Lunch.

When she said, “Oh my Elf Friends, I need to go back.

Or my family will have a big group heart attack,

And think that I’ve run away or been kidnapped.”

So Kathy stood up and four times she clapped.

The Elf Bus appeared with full Elf Gas Tanks,

And Jenna went back home with many Elf Thanks.

Now our story is done.  It’s the end of this tome.

But there’s still a moral for you to take home:

If there’s anything that you learn from this silly fable,

It’s to never drink Elf Juice without reading the label.

- THE END -